Here i am, tootling along Sierra Madre blvd. at a leisurely recovery pace on a Sunday morning when *POW!* a green VW bug turns across my lane into a driveway right next to me. Luckily i saw her turning and was able to narrowly avoid getting broadsided.
Per my usual 'fight or flight' response to near-death cycling experiences, i promptly turned around and pulled into her driveway to tell her how i really felt.
Me: "you almost f*cking hit me!!!"
Dumb Broad: "ohhh... well i didn't see you"
Oh gee whiz - well in that case - how can i be mad at her? If only i had known she hadn't seen me i would not have said such mean things. After all, it was high noon on a straight, level road. And never mind the fact that i was positioned in the EXACT location that she was about to drive her 3500lb death-box into. How silly of me to assume that she would be looking close enough to spot me...
All the while, i was overwhelmed with a sense of dumbass-LMU-sorostitute deja-vu. Stunna-Shades. VW bug. Blonde hair. Air for brains. Go figure - she probably got lost on her way back from the Alpha Phi (say: all-for-free) Sorority house.Well, as you can guess multiple F- and C-bombs were dropped subsequent to our initial dialog.
At least by the time i was home, any trace of anger had fizzled out. I hate to sound so bitter, but still, the moral of the story is: look where you're driving, for christ's sake!
5 comments:
Did you at least get her number for a date? You could pick her up on your bike ;)
I would've slapped her across her dirty mouth, then she would've looked into my eyes and seen that I was a real man.
Once she realized that she had lost any shot she could've had with me she would become depressed and stop driving, gain 200 pounds, sit on her ass watching Telemundo and died alone.
Was she hot?
I've probably banged her, she sounds like a lot of b****es I know.
She sounds hot.
After you'd both worked each other into a frenzy did you at least suggest some sweaty make-up sex?
She seems like a dirty tramp, if you pulled her hair you'd probably both enjoy it.
Are you going to take her out?
Well, naturally, she begged and pleaded for me to give it to her - but i said 'no' as punishment for her offense. As i suspected, she only got more turned on when i answered with such confidence and power...
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